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Teach My Future Daughter

Heartbreak is inevitable. You can run and hide from feelings, but soon enough, they’ll catch up to you.

There’s a good chance the first boy you’ll fall for won’t be the one you spend your life with.

Honestly, I hope to God you don’t. I want you to get hurt and learn exactly what you deserve.

You deserve someone who loves you and treats you like the blessing you are. Never settle.

After your first heartbreak, you’ll feel like that void will never be filled.

I’m only 20, and I’m 100 percent sure I’ll go through many heartbreaks before “the one” comes along.

I’ll keep adding to this list as the years go on, with each lesson I learn along the way.

Until then, here are 10 things I’ll teach my future daughter about love and heartbreak:

1. You are enough.

Never doubt what you deserve.

You are overwhelmingly enough.


2. Not everyone is going to love you.

Not every boy is going to be in love with you. If you’re my kid, there’s a very good chance you’re going to have one hell of a huge personality.

I promise the people who really matter will never want to change you. Be yourself, and the right person will love every bit of you.

The right person will see you for the package deal you are.


3. A bad boy is fun, but a leopard can’t change its spots.

Despite how often he tells you he wants to, you can’t change someone who doesn’t genuinely want to change.

That’s okay.

You shouldn’t be with someone you feel needs to be changed. Be with someone who is wonderful as he or she is.


4. It’s okay to love yourself more than anyone else.

It’s taken me 20 years to finally reach a point where I am truly, honestly happy with the person I am.

At the end of the day, it’s just you and yourself, babe.

Love yourself first. Love yourself so much, it sets an example for how everyone else should love you.


5. Never settle.

Love isn’t meant to be difficult or complicated.

But it’s also not supposed to be boring and 100 percent guaranteed. At some point, you’ll probably date someone who seems like a safe bet. This is someone you rarely argue with.

You might date this person because you’re scared of getting hurt, but this is no way to love.

Be with someone who you fight with over the most mundane things. Be with someone who you still flirt with after years of being together.

Be with someone who makes you feel butterflies when he enters a room. Be with someone who feels like home.

Never be with someone solely because it feels “safe.”


6. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

If he cheated on you once, he’ll cheat on you again.

If he cheats on you, he doesn’t love you.

I am a firm believer there’s no weakness in forgiveness.

But it’s important to know when to simply forgive and walk away.


7. Being single f*cking rocks.

Let me repeat myself here.

Being single f*cking rocks. Enjoy your independence now.

Someday, you might be married, balancing work and kids, At this point, you will rarely have time for yourself.

You’ll miss the days when you could dance around your room naked, just loving every second of hanging out with yourself.


8. Let yourself feel the sting of that first heartbreak.

Let yourself feel the burn of the second, the third and the fourth. Never try to run away from the pain.

Face it head-on, and let it teach you something every damn time. Use your heartbreak to learn exactly what you do and do not want in a relationship.


9. You deserve someone who absolutely adores you.

If you’re with someone you’ve chased for a year, you’ll spend the entire relationship doing everything you can to make him stay.

That’s not how a healthy relationship functions.


10. Be with someone who loves every bit of you.

Be with someone who loves you inside and out, and takes the good with the bad.

There should never be any gray areas.

My favorite quote from “Juno” is, “Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass.”